Your First Year, Private Coaching
When your husband shares a secret like wanting to dress in women’s clothes...
...or that deep down some days he feels like a man, and other days a woman, or even questioning his gender identity, it can feel like your life as you know it is ending.
It's confusing.
It's confronting.
It can be down-right unfathomable.
And you often can’t talk with others about what is going on because you’re worried about their reaction, or out of respect for your spouse’s privacy, or even simply because you aren’t sure how to talk about it!
The first year of this shift in your relationship is the most difficult, and this is why I choose to work with clients who want support throughout their journey.
In the first year you will…
…have difficult and complex conversations with your spouse…
…learn how to navigate conversations with others…
…find yourself in unexpected and sometimes uncomfortable situations (spoiler alert: shopping will never be the same!)…
And with the right support, you can process your emotions, have access to the information you seek, and navigate the decisions you need to make in order to live a peaceful and joyful life.
Here is what that journey looks like when we work together:
1
Take a Breath
To put it quite simply, many women find themselves in a state of shock from the trauma of what often feels like an earth shattering admission from their husband. They find themselves in a continuous state of anxiety both physically and emotionally. This panic can show up in a variety of all-consuming emotions including but not limited to terror around what will happen next, righteous anger (how could he do this?!), deep sadness and feelings of loss, and everything in between.
Our first step is to stop this stress reaction and get you out of fight-or-flight mode. Until you do this, it will be impossible to think clearly, take care of yourself properly, or be able to even begin figuring out what to do next.
2
Arm Yourself with Information
One of the most challenging parts of your husband coming out is the lack of information available and answers to all the questions that come up, for example:
“What does this mean?”
— In the practical sense
— For YOU
— For your relationship
These, among many other questions, are the ones we focus on finding answers to, first. Our purpose in this step is to close the loops on all the questions that are constantly running through your head, this will also go a long way to calming your emotions.
3
Become Aware of Your Feelings
Right now you may be saying “Oh, Sonia, I’m aware of my feelings and they are NOT pleasant!” In order to truly work through your feelings and be able to move forward we need to get down to the basics. We need to bring awareness to each of the feelings and emotions you’re experiencing, and understand where they are coming from. From there you will be able to process each in their own way, bringing you peace and the ability to catch your triggers before you get pulled back into the storm.
4
Prioritize Taking Care of Yourself
Throughout our work together I will help you prioritize taking care of yourself and supporting your needs: mental, emotional, spiritual, and physical. For many women, there is no one else that can give them a hug right now, and you need to learn how to find solace. You will learn self-compassion, self-forgiveness, and other emotional, cognitive, and spiritual tools to keep you going during this trying time.
5
It's Time to Talk
Once you’re feeling more resourced and self-regulated, it’s time to begin opening the lines of communication again with your husband. I will guide you through having important conversations and getting your questions answered. This includes what to ask, how to ask, and helping you interpret and process his answers.
During this time it’s important that you understand your own boundaries and how much you are willing to explore. I will support you in this process, as well as supporting you with a spiritual psychology perspective that may help ease your mind and bring comfort and understanding.
6
Find Your Path Forward
Now that things have settled, you’re feeling more clear, and you’re able to continue to have fruitful conversations with your husband, it is time for you to decide what’s next. I will support you as you make decisions on how you would like to move forward in your marriage. Whether you decide to separate or stay together, I will continue to support you as you navigate the road ahead.
7
The First Year Ups and Downs
Regardless of the path you choose, there will continue to be ups and downs, awkward situations, and even when you least expect it — joyous moments. I will continue by your side for that first year, to keep your mind at peace, your heart full, and your path forward clear.
How does it work?
How much time it takes to navigate each of these steps will vary from person to person, and our goal will be to do so while you are continuing to live together and while minimizing the stress and upheaval for you and your family.
When & Where We'll Meet
- For the first month, we will meet once a week and you will have unlimited email support in between calls, as we work through those initial steps of “taking a breath” and helping your mind, body, and emotions settle.
- From there, we will meet every two weeks. You will have unlimited email support, and the option for additional support in our monthly support group.
- All of our sessions will be confidential, 50 minutes in length, and held virtually on the Zoom platform. That means we can work together no matter where you live!
This program is one year long (though you are welcome to continue longer if appropriate).
$1,500/month to work with you one-on-one
$2,500/month to work with you and your spouse
I do not accept insurance, as carriers only cover certain treatment plans, and that would mean not being able to use my full spectrum of techniques and tools in order to best support you on your journey.
What people are saying...
“Sonia makes you feel that anything is possible with the right tools, knowing that the support is here in the group, in this programme I feel I have the right support – I can type or chat and I found it very very helpful…”
– HA
“The skills I learned in my first week alone have been life-changing. I can’t wait to learn more.“
– TS
“I will be able to use the content with my everyday contact with people as a whole…having a calm mental attitude and being spiritual can help manage the stressors that may come around you.”
– KJ
This program might be for you if:
- You’re married or in a long-term committed relationship and your partner has recently come out gender-diverse, non-binary, as wanting to dress in women’s clothing (cross-dressing) or exploring.
- You feel unsure of how you want to move forward in your relationship and what all of this means for your family and your life going forward
- You are feeling very strong emotions, not sleeping, and having difficulty carrying on your day-to-day life
- You want to work confidentially with a professional that understands where you are, and specializes in working with women who are in your unique situation
If any (or all) of these sound like you, then let’s talk. Use the button below to book a free consultation.
